


There's No Such Things as Ghosts!   (Ghost!Mike Zacharias x various) *manga spoilers *

by orphan_account



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Alcohol, Canon Setting, Character Death, Chicken soup for the fan's soul, Drunk Titans, Erwin gets a new look, Glitter, Gone too soon, Grief/Mourning, Humor, I miss Mike, Laundry mishap, Levi does not believe in ghosts, Levi gets into Erwin's pants lmao, Levi is not amused, Levi is pretty in pink, Manga Spoilers, Mike hates stupid neck wear, Moblits secret to dealing with Hange, More happy than sad, Other, Poor Eren it's not his fault, Pranks and Practical Jokes, Titan Eren is hot, lots of swearing, silliness
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-05-10
Updated: 2016-05-14
Packaged: 2018-06-07 14:59:05
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,798
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6810136
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Mike just wants to see his friends smile again so he decides to pull some harmless pranks.  Canon setting.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Zeds_Dead](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeds_Dead/gifts), [Anon_56](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Anon_56/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Deliverance](https://archiveofourown.org/works/6273121) by [Zeds_Dead_Reader (Zeds_Dead)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeds_Dead/pseuds/Zeds_Dead_Reader). 



> First of all: *manga spoilers* especially if you have only watched the anime. I do not own any of these characters just the story.
> 
> So the inspiration for this work came about in a comment section conversation between Zeds_Dead, Anon_56 and I. We all agreed that it sucked how Mike died and we joked that it would be pretty cool if he came back as a ghost and pranked his colleagues. This is pure nonsense and silliness so please forgive me if anyone is a bit ooc. I am starting with a short prologue and the first prank. So I hope I do you justice, Mike.

   **Prologue  **

It is a rare quiet evening in the Commander's office. Erwin, Hange and Levi have finished all of their paperwork and are now having a drink and discussing lighter things for once. Things have not been going well lately for humanity, especially the Survey Corps. The death toll has well outnumbered the amount of progress made in eliminating the threat to humanity by the Titans. 

       Levi is seated on the couch sipping his usual cup of tea while Erwin and Hange are seated at his desk having a glass of scotch the Commander keeps hidden in his office.  

      Little do they know, they have been joined by an old friend. Mike is seated at the opposite end of the couch from Levi. He missed these late night chats with his friends. Sadly they cannot see or hear him because Mike is no longer among the living. Another soldier gone too soon. This is the closest thing to a night with his friends that he can get. 

  Hange props her elbows on the desk and rests her chin in her hands staring off into the distance looking sad. Erwin notices her expression and asks "What's the matter, Hange?"  Hange sighs, "Don't you feel like something is missing here?" She looks toward the empty space on the couch next to Levi. "Or someone?" Erwin follows her gaze, "We all miss Mike, Hange." He says softly.  Mike stares back sadly wishing he could comfort his friends.  

Hange suddenly giggles to herself. "Remember the time Mike turned all the furniture in your office upside down?" Erwin chuckles and shakes his head."I still don't know how he managed to balance everything like that." Mike laughs lightly to himself.  _That was awesome_ he thinks. Erwin also starts remembering. "I remember the commotion he caused when he started stealing random items from cadets leading them to believe that this building was haunted by a ghost."  

Levi now puts down his teacup gently on the small table in front of the couch. He scowls at Erwin, "Tch, idiots, there's no such things as ghosts."  Levi leans back against the couch. "I do miss that big idiot." Mike smirks at Levi. Then Mike gets an idea and smiles devilishly.  _No such things as ghosts eh Levi? We'll see about that.._ There is a rush of cold air as Mike sets his idea into motion. Levi shivers. "Close the damn window, shitty glasses!" he barks. Hange closes the window."Yes, your highness." She snorts with laughter. Levi shoots a glare at her. "Disgusting". 

* * *

 

**Several days later**

    Levi slams the drawer to his dresser in frustration. "I know I had spares in here and now they just fucking vanish." He mumbles to himself. He goes over to his desk and sits down waiting impatiently.  _I should have known better than to trust that brat with my things_ he seethes. 

A pounding of running footsteps are heard and a gush of air as Eren Yeager skids into the office. He walks in front of the desk and salutes Levi. "You wanted to see me sir?" He asks. Levi motions at the chair in front of his desk "Sit down,Yeager." Eren gulps nervously and sits down.

Levi stares angrily at Eren causing the nervous boy to fidget in his seat. He the asks, "I asked you to have something cleaned for me, correct? " Eren looks confused. Levi takes an item out of the desk and places it in front of Eren. Eren's eyes widen as he remembers. Lying on the desk is the Captain's cravat yet instead of the usual white, it is now pastel pink. "Um I dddon't know how that happened sir!" He stammered.

 Levi glares at the poor cadet. "I'll tell you what happened." Eren just stares wide eyed. " I found this in the same basin as this cravat when I went to the laundry room to retrieve it because you were off doing something that wasn't your job!" Eren stares in shock at a very familiar red scarf now on the desk. "Why would you put this shitty scarf in with my things?"

 Eren suddenly looks guilty. " I got bored waiting for your cravat to soak so I went for a walk and I guess I forgot about it but I did not put Mikasa's scarf in there it's  been missing since yesterday." Eren says quietly.  "Well now you can pay for your incompetence with 100 laps starting now!" Levi snapped. Eren pauses before he leaves and says "sorry sir"  walking away slowly with his head down. "Stupid lazy brat." Levi grumbles.  

 A few minutes later an angry looking Hange marches into Levi's office. "Why do you have Eren running laps when he is supposed to be helping me with experiments?" She shouts and stomps in front of Levi's desk to face him. She takes one look at him and bursts out laughing. "Oh my gosh shorty, pink is definitely your color!" She crackles when she notices Levi wearing the pink cravat since he couldn't find a spare. She smiles and starts to rush out of the office yelling"I've got to tell the Commander about this!" Levi jumps up running after her "Get back here shitty glasses! "   Mike laughs from his spot on Levi's couch. 

 


	2. Hange

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Alcohol + Titans = Chaos

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So here we have Hange's prank. The idea for this chapter came from a Q&A I once read where a fan asked Isayama something along the lines of who is the biggest drinker in the snk universe. The answer was Moblit Berner, due to his high stress job lol Since this is just crackish silliness lets pretend Titans can get drunk.* No Titans or humans were harmed in the writing of this chapter* There is a silly extended ending that relates to the original work that inspired this story so it is not necessary to the plot and you can skip it if you want :)

** A few nights later, ** 3:00am: **  
**

A loud knock at the door startles Levi awake.  He is groggy for a few seconds. He had fallen asleep at his desk while doing paperwork as usual. He looks at the window and sees that it is still very dark outside. He angrily pushes his chair back and stalks over to the door. He flings it open and growls, "Someone better be dead for you to be waking me up this fucking early!" 

Standing in the doorway is a very frightened looking Armin Arlert. "Um, well, no one has died yet Sir but Squad Leader Hange really needs your help before someone does.." he says while looking at Levi with pleading eyes. Levi sighs in defeat. "What stupid shit did Hange do now?" he asks. Armin takes in a calming breath before he replies, "It's a long story Sir, we really should get going and I'll try to fill you in on the way." Levi scowls "Shitty Glasses owes me big time for saving her dumb ass."

He starts to follow Armin and then pauses, "Wait a minute, Arlert, where the fuck is Moblit?, its his damn job to keep Hange from doing stupid shit!" Armin looks away nervously, "Um, he's asleep Sir, Squad Leader Hange said that every night he goes to bed and locks his door after he takes his anxiety medicine and he can't be woken up until morning."  Levi rolls his eyes and begins walking again.

  _You mean he passes out drunk from the moonshine shitty glasses secretly brews for him, Mike used to steal that shit all the time and threatened to tell fucking eyebrows about it  when Hange caught him so she gave him one bottle a week to keep quiet_ he remembers and then smirks, "Fucking con artist" he mumbles. 

***Quick time skip explanation ***

 So Armin told the Captain the situation as they made their way to Hange's Titan experimenting area. Apparently the Titans Hange had finally convinced the Commander to let her have since the unfortunate demise of ger previous pets, Sawney and Bean, somehow had gotten an open bottle of Moblit's "anxiety medicine" and had actually gotten drunk and escaped from their restraints stumbling about and knocking over trees and caused damage to the fenced in area.

 Hange did try to fix the situation herself by going to the dorms and dragging poor Eren out of bed while he whined which woke Armin who followed and when they exited the dorm they were met by a fully dressed (complete with full 3dmg) Mikasa who of course assumed Eren was being kidnapped. 

After Armin calmly explained to Mikasa that Hange just needed Eren to use his Titan to help keep the drunk Titans  occupied while she mixed a tranquilizer to sedate the Titans so they could be put back in their pen to safely sleep it off. When Mikasa finally lowered her blade from Hange's throat, she informed them that she was going too so Eren would be safe. Hange then told Armin to run and wake Levi and tell him the situation so he and Mikasa could quickly swing up and inject the Titans and Hange would do the rest. Might as well take advantage of having two Ackermans right? ;)

***Armin arrives with Levi***

 Armin and the Captain walk into the slightly trampled Titan pen. Eren is in Titan form holding an angry Mikasa with tears coming down his face. Hange has just arrived with 2 now empty fairly large syringes.  Levi stomps over to Hange and  points at Eren and Mikasa. "Why is the Titan brat crying?" Hange giggles "Well, after Eren transformed, he went over to go restrain the other Titans and  I guess they found his Titan um physically attractive and one kinda pinched his behind." She said still giggling.

"So Mikasa got so mad she grabbed the syringes and injected both Titans herself and now everything is under control Shorty!"  Hange shouts cheerfully while thumping the now sleepy restrained Titan next to her who then proceeds to vomit on Hange and Levi. "What the actual fuck Shitty Glasses!!!!" the Captain screams while Armin panics and sprays them both with the outside hose.  Mike is standing next to Armin doubled over in laughter.  _Oh man that was so fucking worth it!_ he gasps between laughter.

* * *

**Extended Ending :**

 Levi somehow decided to be merciful and not kill Hange or the Titan that vomited on them and is now trying to walk back to his office quickly without anyone see in him.

The only clean clothes Hange had in her room were Erwin's, which of course  were ridiculously huge. So when Levi saw his office door he sped up only to be tripped by some unknown obstacle and quickly put his arms out to grab the wall and ended up grabbing onto the Commander who happened to be walking down the hall. Unfortunately Levi forgot his hands were holding his pants up so when he grabbed Erwin, the pants fell to the floor and he blushed as red as a tomato.

 Erwin looks down at him "Would you care to explain this Captain?"  Levi just lets go of Erwin, pulls his pants up and replies, "Would you care to explain why your clothes are in Hange's room, Commander?" Erwin coughs nervously. "Actually I have some urgent paperwork to do so just go get changed." and he walks quickly back to his office while Levi smiles smugly and enters hus own office.

 

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> So I do not even know where this all even came from. I blame endless cramming for finals that somehow made my mind picture this. And just for the record, I don't hate Levi lol (He's my favorite character ) I feel bad for harassing the Captain but I can't help what plants itself in my brain. (Blame Mike! It's his idea!) Fear not though because Erwin's prank is next and Levi enjoys every single minute of it.


End file.
